迷失多倫多

TTC - Toronto Transit Commission
aka Total Trash Crap

話說, 今日同呀 Leo 兄約定系Downtown趕Audit file.

我環保, 唔渣車。

我塔地下鐵去。

點知一上卡車﹐吾夠幾個站(系Sheppard一個站之後! 頂!)﹐個司機伯伯就系個Speaker 話:

"落車! 快oD落車! 此班列車將會停止服務。"

(Get off the cabin. This train will be out of service from from York mills station to Eglinton station.)

WTF?

你話如果尖沙咀到金鐘 out of service﹐你話會吾會比人小到七彩呀喇?

就系我比人趕緊出黎既時候﹐我好有Manner甘問呀司機伯伯:

"Would you please tell us when will the service resume normal operation?"

"Wa?Wa?Wa?" 距比左個"我聽吾到你Up mud 春wor!" 既手勢我。

我頂你個肺呀。聽吾到? WTF!

我當然系好有Manner甘, 祝距新年行好運, 然後苦笑一下。

知後種比個TTC Staff點左去搭錯車...Wilson? Where the fuck is that?


hm...就好似你想由荃灣去金鐘﹐點知無Service﹐接駁巴士車左你去觀塘 instead!

我頂!

好彩﹐比我遇見一個幾 interesting 既人。

一個屎屍式詩人。

A Hati born Canadian "brother" who lived in Montreal and work for a Toronto Waste Management Company, DJ on weekend using his poem as lyrics and got a Caucasian wife who speak worse English than him since she has a Jamaican accent.

我吾知點翻譯﹐不過個point 系...You never know whats gonna happen ahead. Just keep yourself in a good mood as much as possible.

Oh﹐種有﹐原來Toronto既水系無問題架。但系oD水管就...

總之, 如果你住系個Waste recycle plant 革黎(糞化回收廠)﹐恭喜你﹐你oD水系最好架!!!

Otherwise, 煮沸oD自來水, 冷凍oD自來水, 再煮沸oD自來水, 再冷凍oD自來水, 再再煮沸oD自來水三次. ("boil the tap water, freeze the tap water, boil it again, freeze it again and boil it again brother. ")

There you go, pure water just like when it came out from the waste recycle plant.

我頂...

P.S: 原來﹐用口語打字﹐又幾過癮渦。
P.P.S: 不過好似好粗魯...
P.P.P.S: 但系真系幾過癮渦哈哈哈!